Do You Believe in Happiness?

One of the saddest things I run across in my work is someone who has lived in a dysfunctional marriage long enough that they have stopped believing they deserve to be happy - or perhaps more accurately, that they deserve to pursue happiness.
For a person who doesn't believe they deserve to be happy, it's unlikely that they ever will be deeply happy for any sustained period of time. They'll find a way to sabotage themselves either consciously or unconsciously when they start to feel happy or good.
The truth is we all deserve to pursue what makes us happy and to enjoy our pursuit of happiness.
One of the observations I hear from many of the attorneys I work with is that their clients who choose to get divorced are miserable. Their clients chose to divorce and yet throughout the process they're miserable and taking a good portion of it out on their attorney.
Most of my clients are on the other side of the divorce equation. They didn't choose to divorce. They're trying to figure out how to move forward with their lives and redefine happiness for themselves.
Regardless of which side of the divorce equation you're on, I believe the following quote by Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott is important for your to understand happiness. (Please note that I've substituted the word happiness
where Dr. Carter-Scott used the word success.)
"[Happiness] is many things. It is both a concept and an experience, a moment as well as an evolution. It is the merging of your aspirations with reality, the weaving of your hopes and dreams with your daily tasks. It is simultaneously tangible and ephemeral, and gives the illusion of being universally quantifiable... The true essence of [happiness], beneath the visible markers and goals, lies in your personal sense of satisfaction and fulfillment."
I have to admit, I feel a bit like Tinker Bell asking you to believe, to believe in happiness, but the truth is you really do need to believe in it and that you deserve it before you'll ever truly experience happiness.
Your Functional Divorce Assignment:
On a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 indicates you whole-hearted believe you deserve to be happy and 1 indicates you have no belief that you deserve to be happy, where would you rank yourself? Most people don't spend time thinking about this. They'll just assume that they deserve to be happy, but this is a deep question. Take a moment and really think about it. Do you believe you deserve to be happy?
Would you like to improve your belief? Don't worry, you're not alone. Most of us adults get caught up in the busy-ness of life and when you add divorce to the mix it becomes even easier for us to believe that life is all about hard work, unmet expectations and sacrifice. If you'd like to improve your belief that you deserve to be happy, I'd like for you to remember a time when you were happy as a child. What was happening that contributed to that happiness? Do you remember how easy it was to be happy and laugh? You deserve to have that kind of total happiness as an adult too. All you have to do is continue to believe that you still deserve it.
Need a little more help in strengthening your belief? For some people, just having the memory of happiness isn't enough to rekindle their belief in deserving happiness. If that's you, it's OK and I am here to help. If you'd like to take advantage of a FREE consultation with me to learn more about how I might be able to help you, just give me a call (817-993-0561) or send me an email karen@functionaldivorce.com and I'll schedule some time to spend with you.

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